LIFE HASN’T FOLLOWED MY GAME PLAN, PART 2

Top Ten Things I’d Tell My 30-Year-Old Self

Well, today is my birthday! I’m one year shy of the BIG 5-0! But, before I get ahead of myself, I want to savor this last year of being in my forties. I’m gonna throw my hands up in the air, and wave ‘em like I just don’t care!! I’m going to eat as many cupcakes as I want this month, even though one of my clients – that is, two-time, Emmy Award-winning celebrity hairstylist Kiyah Wright said to me the other day, “Girl, don’t get chunky on me!” lol

I’m going to celebrate my 49^th birthday all year long. Why? Because, it closes out another chapter of my life. I’ve lived to tell about it – that is, my roaring forties!! I’m so grateful because some of my friends, classmates, colleagues, acquaintances, and friends of friends just didn’t make it this far. See, I realize that in your forties, that’s when you really start thinking about your own mortality.

I’m so thankful that longevity runs in my family, whether we eat greasy, fried food or not! I’m from the South, and let me tell you, my family and extended family has not necessarily exactly converted to healthier food choices, and yet, they’re still standing! Personally, I’m shooting for 100. My maternal great uncle is one month shy of his 92^nd birthday and my paternal grandmother is in her early ninties, too. So, I’m keeping hope alive!

In my last post, “Life Hasn’t Followed My Game Plan, Part 1,” I shared a column I wrote for Community Pride magazine, reflecting on life at the ripe, old age of 30. Well, like an old diary, it was fun to read, musing on my thoughts back then. Now, older and much wiser, if I could, there are some stuff I would tell my 30-year-old self. So, I made a list, and checked it twice. And here it is:

 The Top Ten Things I’d Tell My 30-Year-Old Self

10. Shave. Tweeze.
I’m not going to elaborate; but hairy legs are not sexy, especially if you live in Los Angeles, and you will. And thick eyebrows like model/actress Brooke Shields just ain’t cute, anymore. Hair removal will become an obsession for you.

9. Wash that gray right outta ya hair!
No more salt-and-pepper hair for you! Haircolor is the best thing since sliced bread! And blondes do have more fun!

 8. When you know better, you’ll do better.
Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes or past dates! You’ll become even more discerning about the company you keep, and the time you spend on things.

 7. Love harder.
You’ll date some wonderful guys and you’ll date some jerks! You’ll take the good guys for granted because of your inexperience and naivety. I want to thank these guys for their sweetness – Dennis Bynum, Daniel Enoch, Darryl Blackwell and Nate Smith. Each of you taught me something about myself that I needed to know. Still, there’s one jerk, one mofo that comes to mind after all these years! It’s a dude with the initials of G.C. ! Oh, I could say more, but you know who the f*ck you are!

 6. Get over your daddy issues; so, you can really commit and love someone.
You’ll always be a bridesmaid, but never a bride, which is just fine with you because marriage is not at the top list of things to do. Plus, you don’t want kids; so, there’s no biological clock ticking for you. Now, let’s get to the daddy issues: Lucky you! You had a loving, doting father. A great dad. But, you lost him at the age of 11, and that sense of abandonment will keep you from really committing to a man.  Of course, it was probably the wrong person at the wrong time, anyway. But that’s not the point because you’ll only let a man get but so close before you’ll so something to sabotage the relationship. Yes, you’re married to your career, and you love what you do, but there will be a time when you’ll want just a little more. So, work on it. Go to a therapist. Talk to somebody about it. See  #7. Love harder.

5. Stop trying to “tone it down!”
You can’t. Stop trying. Don’t listen to those people who tell you to “tone it down” or act a certain way. Either people will get you or they won’t.

 4. Your health is your wealth.
There will be times when you’ll have tons of cash in the bank, and times when you’re flat broke. But it won’t matter because you’ll always be in good health. Continue to exercise, but start watching your diet now. Don’t eat so much ice cream. It’s bad for your cholesterol! One day, you’ll discover Whole Foods, and that will be a game changer in your grocery shopping.

 3. The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.
This quote from Maya Angelou says it all. Don’t try to rationalize other people’s bad behavior. It is, what it is. And once you take this little lesson to heart, you’ll be able to weed out people more quickly and effectively. Forgive, but don’t forget.

 2. Pray more. Meditate more.
You’ve seen God’s presence in your life. Take some quiet time to stand still, and listen to God’s voice. Move on your intuition.

 1. 50 is the new 30!!
OK, you know you’re vain as hell. So, get back into the gym, workout and eat right. Show some discipline because you want to be fit and fine at 50! You have 365 days to do it!

Honorable mention:
People come into your life for a reason, a season a lifetime. Friends will come and go, but you’ll cherish all the people and friendships along the way, especially those who were so impactful in your life. I want to give a special shout out to some of my lifetime BFFs (Best Friends Forever) who know where all the bones are buried: Alisa Ginyard, Leslie Greene, Judy Carmichael, and Mary Curtis. Thank you for being a friend! A la theme song from the hit tv show, “The Golden Girls.”

I took my TOP TEN list to the airwaves of KGGN 890 AM’s “Good Morning Show” in Kansas City with Wayne Hodges and Reggie B. Listen here.

I have to admit, I gotta brush up on my “radio voice.” This interview took place very early in the morning for me, and I rolled out of the bed, and started yakking on the radio; so,  I’m not as polished as I should be.  Next time, I’ll do better. Promise. 🙂